Well Jeff and Irma's wedding was so nice and the evening weather was perfect. So irma and jeff if you are reading this.. I wish you guys the very best!

Tonight we are having our first Halloween party in our house and I am excited. I know only a couple people will show but it will still be great because this will be the first year that I have stayed in for halloween! The daughter type has decided she is too old and I could not be happier..heh. So we will have fun with that while we can because ... well, because next year or after that we may have another person to go trick or treating for...a very small one :-) (we hope)

Happy Land! It is Friday! I am going to ignore the fact that I have an doctors appointment, that more then likely will end in me getting a shot in my back, yes my back is still hurting and I just feel crappy. I have to get better by tomorrow!

I am particularly happy because there are lots of exciting things happening this weekend.
We are going to our friends wedding and I just love seeing good people have great things happen in their lives… I will have tissues a plenty (I cry at ALL weddings).
Monday is Halloween and I am counting that as a part of the weekend , because it will be a blow off day at work.

Sicky Poo

I have been sick for literally three weeks now. I started off with just a cold and then after that I had a deep cough that took my breath away and now that is gone my back muscles are pulled from the coughing in my lower back. I could barely pull my own self out of bed this morning, in fact DK had to help me! I am waddling down the hall like a person nine times my age just to refill my coffee… and I have to keep moving or I get stiff. You know the crazy thing is that I think it is due to me being rude and snippy to DK here lately and or more realistically I am over weight now and need to lose weight which I do… it is hard to be upbeat when you feel like crap.
On a happy note our friends are getting married on Saturday and I know I will be better for that. I am so excited for them and I know it will be so beautiful!

Saturday

I am so annoyed by my day so far and it has not ever happened yet!

My daughter is going to see her “dad” (and yes that is the proper way to pronounce it with quotes and all).
I am sad and not because he dose not need to see her but because she did not want to see him and it has been months and now his birthday has pasted and he is having his mother call and innocently invite my daughter over and I do not mind… I got a card a week ago and told daughter that she should at least sign it, and at least send him the card but “no” she says, she did not want to, “I have my reasons”.
Now the grandmother calls and I hand the phone to daughter and all is swell again. Ping! Sterling and shiny and new… no I scream in my head! No you leave my child that I love alone and let me raise her, but I can not say that and the reality is he is her dad that pronounce “dad”. Derek is dad and even my dad is her dad at times…when she was 0-3 at least he was.
I just fear he is going to make her feel guilty and he will of course blame me… me and Derek. We are so bad you know… we are there for her homework, there when people hurt her feelings at school, there for school events all of them, we play games, we buy her things to wear and we even make sure she is doing well in life by providing love, and selflessness. We listen and we have set rules.
Now he who shacks up with a married woman that has two kids one in juvenile for sexually assault to a minor one that is mentally challenge because she was smoking during pregnancy and her dad, my lovely child’s “dad” let me tell you about him he is hateful, spiteful and dose not ever take blame for any thing. He has hurt my daughter by, not being there and saying that he will be there, I have (not recently) had to stay up nights and explain to the tear soak crumble and depress daughter that yes, he dose love and yes he is forgetful and then she grew up and decide for herself that he is the words person for her and she has waited half her life for him and she was done, until today… I guess I do care and I do not want my child around him. I think that I am putting too much in this but I have to because when she was born I was born too, I am her mom. He dislikes me because I do not care and I do go on with my life and have a nice life… blah we work our asses off and we do not drink, sniff or smoke it away is why we have a nice life. I will write more when she is done seeing him today.