I was thinking this morning after the local weatherman said, “ the air is clear of pollution it seems today” when he was referring to a little cool front we had gotten over night on the morning news. I was thinking what I thought as a kid… like why cant we get a big Ol’ giant vacuum plane and have it fly all over the sky and suck up all the pollution in the air. Is that so silly to think? Would I dare bring these types of thoughts out into the open for all to see?
Heck yhea and here goes.
Cars that have children with out their seat belts:
I think the car should be designed so that the neglectful parent in the front gets thwaped (in my world that means smacked up side the head) until and only until they strap their half dressed, un combed hair having, snot nosed brat in the seat with a seat belt! I do not need to see this child being scrapped off the road….
I think we need post-it notes that are pre-printed;
you know to stick on people.… I told you these are silly!! Now shush! They would be called “Give a person a sign” Instructions: Peel and stick on an unsuspecting person, by walking past and bumping into them and or discreetly scooting past and sticking it on the person’s back. I would stick one that said:
Someone lied to me today, I am pickled, Please look at me, I am so totally cool!
On that woman, you know the one that is in her mid-to late years that has just a touch too much make up on by Tammy Fayes standards… they are scary because while they yes may have a perfect “set” that I am sure is their own…yhea! Well they just look gross!
And my favorite post it will be . Why
Pocket lie detectors:
you know they are lying but can you prove it… hmm!?
For the mom or dad’ (usually moms I have noticed) that let their kids do what ever they want in the store
Examples (all witnessed by me!)
*walking in the in a pull-up or diaper when they are past the age of three,
*Scream continuously (not cry whimper or something controlled like that) Scream and scream because they can not get what they want… and all the while the mom who looks like she will explode or is stoned (grinning and in her “happy place) is not saying a word to this child to shut them up!!!
*The kid that is walk all by him self and is not even at the age where they can change their diaper and they are alone in the toy isle…. Did you know that the toy isle is usually the bug spray isle..lol ok that was off topic.
* And you mom you know the one that is on her cell phone talking to one of your “baby daddy” and child # 2 is beating up child # 4 and child #1,2,5,6 are racing down the cat food isle in a shopping cart!
You ALL will get the MEGAPHONE!!!! The manager of the store will scream in your ear until you wrangle up all you off spring and get on your way…. Christ all mighty and bless it be…. We will have none of this in our store!!!!
Cafeteria-style conveyer belt store: This store will have only what you need and you can buy (and this is a plus) what ever you want in any amount that you want... . You will not have to walk all over you just stand there and it will come to you!
Water gun upgrade packs for your automobile: I need this! Horns are so over rated… I want to shoot a huge burst of water at the freshly waxed BMW that is in front of me and swerving because they cannot talk on the phone and drive
…. Oh sorry was your window down… opps!
High power fan hat: This would be worn pretty much any where you go now a days, this hat not only cools you off but blows cigarette smoke away from you and onto the smoker… oh did your cigarette go out! I do not need cancer ok!
I have more but I can not think of them… I told you they are silly... stop laughing at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
